I have dealt with death a lot in my life. One of my earliest childhood memories is that of my maternal grandmother’s funeral. I don't so much remember the funeral itself, but I can vividly recall the emotions that surrounded that day and the days that followed. Her death was due to cancer, a vile and horrific disease that took her in her mid sixties. She was a vibrant woman; one I was never was able to fully get to know. I have my idea of who she was from the stories that I have heard from my family and my grandma's many friends with whom I have had the privilege to know and love myself. Grandma’s decline was of a physical nature, the cancer riddled her body with disease and it was her body that failed her not her mind or her memory. When her body gave out on the eve of Thanksgiving Day 1989 and she breathed her last breath, she did so with her mind and memory still fully intact. We mourned at her death all that she had been, and all that we would miss out on now that she was gone. She was herself till the end...this sadly is not the case for 5.3 million people today.
Alzheimer's disease is the 7th largest cause of death in America. It is a disease that affects first and foremost the mind of the undeserving victim. The effects that this disease has on the individual and the family that is left to care for the patient that slowly loses their own knowledge of identity are devastating.
The course of progress that Alzheimer's takes is unique to the individual that suffers from the disease. Some have what I have experienced as a reverse memory eraser where starting with the most recent and moving backwards in time the memories are lost. In my experience it seems that most often after a certain point the individual who is suffering from the loss becomes unaware that they are living with the disease that is slowly (or quickly depending on the individual) taking away their memory, their independence and the life that they have always known.
I write this today as a reflection on so many of my experiences with this horrendous disease having watched so many of my elderly friends slowly slip away into the darkness of the disease. Having observed the pain that family members have as they watch their once prim and proper Mother utter profane things and act in ways totally obverse to how she had always lived her life. I have seen and experienced the pain of realizing that our loved one no longer recognizes us for who we are and have always been to them. It is through all of these stages that all effected by the diagnosis and progression of the disease live out the loss.
Loss is a hard thing to accept. I was once given the metaphor that dealing with Alzheimer's was like having a band-aid that covered ones entire body slowly ripped off inch by inch. I know that that is a graphic example, but there is much truth to it. All loss is painful; all terminal diagnoses are devastating and life ending.
There are 5.7 million individuals in the United States that are walking down the path that will lead to their death caused by Alzheimer's. And sojourning with them on that path are countless family members, friends and caregivers. Each of them live everyday with the continued loss of identity and loss of those special memories that we all fight so hard to retain.
It is my prayer that we will soon find a cure for this terrible disease. May all who suffer from, and are affected by Alzheimer's feel loved and supported. Amen.
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