Living the loss...

I have dealt with death a lot in my life. One of my earliest childhood memories is that of my maternal grandmother’s funeral. I don't so much remember the funeral itself, but I can vividly recall the emotions that surrounded that day and the days that followed. Her death was due to cancer, a vile and horrific disease that took her in her mid sixties. She was a vibrant woman; one I was never was able to fully get to know. I have my idea of who she was from the stories that I have heard from my family and my grandma's many friends with whom I have had the privilege to know and love myself. Grandma’s decline was of a physical nature, the cancer riddled her body with disease and it was her body that failed her not her mind or her memory. When her body gave out on the eve of Thanksgiving Day 1989 and she breathed her last breath, she did so with her mind and memory still fully intact. We mourned at her death all that she had been, and all that we would miss out on now that she was gone. She was herself till the end...this sadly is not the case for 5.3 million people today.

Alzheimer's disease is the 7th largest cause of death in America. It is a disease that affects first and foremost the mind of the undeserving victim. The effects that this disease has on the individual and the family that is left to care for the patient that slowly loses their own knowledge of identity are devastating.

The course of progress that Alzheimer's takes is unique to the individual that suffers from the disease. Some have what I have experienced as a reverse memory eraser where starting with the most recent and moving backwards in time the memories are lost. In my experience it seems that most often after a certain point the individual who is suffering from the loss becomes unaware that they are living with the disease that is slowly (or quickly depending on the individual) taking away their memory, their independence and the life that they have always known.

I write this today as a reflection on so many of my experiences with this horrendous disease having watched so many of my elderly friends slowly slip away into the darkness of the disease. Having observed the pain that family members have as they watch their once prim and proper Mother utter profane things and act in ways totally obverse to how she had always lived her life. I have seen and experienced the pain of realizing that our loved one no longer recognizes us for who we are and have always been to them. It is through all of these stages that all effected by the diagnosis and progression of the disease live out the loss.

Loss is a hard thing to accept. I was once given the metaphor that dealing with Alzheimer's was like having a band-aid that covered ones entire body slowly ripped off inch by inch. I know that that is a graphic example, but there is much truth to it. All loss is painful; all terminal diagnoses are devastating and life ending.
There are 5.7 million individuals in the United States that are walking down the path that will lead to their death caused by Alzheimer's. And sojourning with them on that path are countless family members, friends and caregivers. Each of them live everyday with the continued loss of identity and loss of those special memories that we all fight so hard to retain.

It is my prayer that we will soon find a cure for this terrible disease. May all who suffer from, and are affected by Alzheimer's feel loved and supported. Amen.

Tell their stories...

I have been more and more blessed and amazed at the inspiring stories of hope and endurance that I have heard from my diverse clients. Every time I walk into one of their homes I enter as a stranger with a mission to accomplish, make an assessment of their physical and emotions needs, and to take that assessment and assign services according to their needs. These services include providing an in-home worker to assist with daily living activities such as dressing, bathing, cooking, cleaning and companionship. There are options for home delivered meals, and Adult Day Center placement (where seniors can go to get out of the home in a supervised, enriching environment with educational, social and functional programs.) All of these services are funded by the State of Illinois through the Community Care Program. The programs mission is to eliminate early institutionalization of seniors by providing in-home services that allow the individual to stay as independent as possible in their own living space.

I enter a stranger and more often than not I leave almost as a member of the family. Often having heard stories of life changes and journeys that have not even been shared with children and grandchildren. Each time I hear these stories of travels to avoid persecution and death, opportunities of freedoms in a new land, and the sadness that is apparent in these stories of leaving a beloved homeland and life. I look at faded pictures of a different life and time. I hear stories of generations lost to the pains of war and a Holocaust that is still being lived through today.

Each time time I hear these stories I feel honored to be hearing them and feel a sense of duty to share them. And while the laws of privacy do not allow me to name the beloved ones that share them, I am able to share them with a sense of generality and tact. And so it is my goal to share these memories here, a place where the lessons of life, of loss, of valor, of bravery can be shared. May they bless those who read as much as I have been blessed to hear them first hand.

Thanks for reading...Michael